Top Five "Sista Better Get it Together" Songs (This list is for the guys...)

Okay, so I realized there was a little slant in my lists and mix tapes, a slant heavily in favor of the ladies. What can I say, I might be just a tad bit biased. I'll own that. But in an attempt at fairness, I wanted to come up with a list just for the guys, a list of songs that warn the ladies to get their stuff together before they lose a good man. Now, I realize that this list sort of serves a dual purpose in that it could be a nice wake up call to my sisters. (Yes ladies, if you come home and your man is blasting one of these songs, you might want to check yourself...) But anyway, I came up with five songs that really scream, 'girl get it together before you lose that good man.' So here they are:

1. "Before I Let You Go," Frankie Beverly & Maze
You really can't get a much clearer message than this one. The brother is trying to figure it out throughout the song… "I wanna make sure I’m right… Before I let go…" He's not trying to be too abrupt. But he's thinking that the relationship is over… “I can’t understand it, no. Where did we go wrong? I won't be asking, girl. I've got to know. I gotta make sure I'm right. Before I let go…" Clearly these lyrics are still in the 'this relationship can be saved' stage. I like it for that reason and that's why it's number one on my list. (That and the fact that Frankie Beverly is one sexy older man. Yummy.)

2. "If You Think You’re Lonely Now (Wait Until Tonight, Girl)," either the Bobby Womack version or the K-Ci and JoJo version
Both versions of the song give the same clear message: woman you need to stop complaining or you will be complaining yourself right out of a man. He tells you straight out: "Can I talk about this woman I have. She's always complaining about the things she ain't got and the things her girlfriend's got. But lady I will let you know. I can't be in two places at one time." Mmmm, hmmm… now on an average day, I'd have something smart aleck to say about these kinds of songs. But since I'm trying to devote this top five list to the guys and stay in the spirit of things... I'll half-way concede that sometimes... maybe... we could... urr… umm… possibly... give a guy a reason to want to belt out: "If you think you're lonely now… wait until tonight, girl…" But don't quote me on that. And I'll deny it till kingdom come if anyone dares repeat it anywhere. LOL.

3. "Clean Up Woman," Betty Wright
This song is my one of my favorites… Picture me at about six or seven years old singing this song. I loved me some Betty Wright way before I even knew what the heck she was singing about. This song isn't about a guy warning his woman that he's going to leave her if she doesn’t get it together. It's a woman warning other women that their men will be easy prey for the clean-up woman if they don't treat their men right. She sings: "A clean up woman is a woman who gets all the love we girls leave behind. The reason I know so much about her is because she picked up a man of mine… Jumping slick was my ruin. 'Cause I found out all I was doin' was makin' it easy for the clean up woman. To get my man's love, oh, yeah." Since it's all about the guys in this post I'll add a little more from Ms. Wright: "I took this man's love and put it on a shelf. And like a fool, I thought I had him all to myself. When he needed love, I was out having fun. But I found out all I had done. Was made it easy for the clean up woman. To get my man's love, uh-huh." Like I said, on any other day... in any other post... I might add that if the clean-up woman can take him, he wasn't really mine and she can have him. But since I'm only devoting this one top five songs to the guys. I won't say that… (grin)

4. "She's All I Got," Jeff Cozier
This song used to make me laugh… Not because I relished hearing about a brother's pain or anything like that. But because it was nice to hear a brother singing about how much he loves this woman who is giving him the blues. Refreshing... I'd say… "I wanna tell y'all about my old lady. Some times I think she's really crazy. She blacks out at the drop of a dime. But she's still my baby… She likes to get into confrontations with me. Testing my patience to see how far she can go before I lose my head… Sometimes I love her… Sometimes I love her not… I ain't letting her go… Cause she's all I got… Although she nags me and complains a lot I ain't letting her go… No, no, no." Okay, so clearly this brother is just glutton for punishment and he probably won't be going anywhere or kicking this chick to the curb anytime soon... But ladies, if your guy is identifying with these lyrics, maybe you could be just a little nicer to the dude. (Just a little. No need to go spoiling him or anything… LOL) My favorite line in this song is "As crazy as she is, I want her to have my kids…" LOL. I love it… Funny stuff…

5. "Change Me," Ruben Studdard
I have to admit, I don't really like this song. My baby was singing these lyrics a little bit too loud in the car the other day… Sort of the same way I belt along with Fantasia's “Free Yourself” when he's working my nerves… Okay, way too much information… over-sharing… and all that good stuff. But anyway, since it's all about the guys today, maybe, I can see how these lyrics could be easy for some guys to relate to. And I can see how some women might want to pay attention to what the brother is singing. This song is turning the tables and asking the woman how she would feel if he suddenly started to try and change every little thing about her. He sings: "How would you like it if I talked about your skin. The way you wear your hair (oh girl). Would you like if I talked about your butt? Or once a month turned into someone that was hard to love." (Now see… going there on the PMS thing is just wrong… Wrong I say! But I'll let that slide... today...) Then he adds: "Now what if all I did was pick apart your friends cause they ain't got no ends. What if I talked about your face in the morning? 'Cause we know that you ain't cute in the morning…. Would I be wrong… Would I be wrong…" Umm… heck yeah you would be wrong! It's just not right to talk about how folk look in the morning. Not cool at all... But since this is about the guys today, I won't point that out...

So, that's my top five "Sista Better Get It Together" song list. Did I miss any of your favorites? What would be on your top five list? Do you take issue with these kinds of songs? Are you against these kinds of warnings in general? (Well coming from the guys anyway…) I know this is not a list I plan to do again! I realize that I like the "brother needs to shape up or ship out songs" much better. LOL. But I'd love to hear what you think...

Much love and peace,

Gwyneth