The Brotha Please Awards, 2007

Where has the time gone? It hardly seems like a year has gone by since we had our last Brotha Please Awards--also know as the “boo, negro, boo” awards--here on Gwyneth’s Blog. But it has been a year. And what a year it has been! With so-oo many folks acting like they have lost their damn minds, it is truly a chore trying to decide who to give the awards to. Last year, we gave out three and we could have easily given out more. In fact folks had some wonderful suggestions for people who were just as worthy of getting called out for their bad behavior. And I’m sure we’ll have more suggestions this year. So without further ado, let’s meet this year’s award winners…

Our first winner gets the year’s top award for buffoonery to the tenth degree. While everyone with one lick of sense was speaking out against Don Imus’s racist, sexist and homophobic attack on the Rutgers University female basketball team, this negro decides he’ll just take his monkey behind on Jay Leno and attack the young women further.



Forget being politically incorrect, this brotha is just dead wrong calling anybody ugly with a face like that. He probably thought he was being funny instead of just being funny looking, but we here at Gwyneth’s Blog think his brand of comedy takes us back further than step and fetch It. This year’s winner of the "Brotha Buffoon Can’t Get Out of Our Face Too Soon" Award goes to D. L. Hughley for showing us that ignorance is alive and well and coming out of his mouth.

The next recipient needs no introduction. We all know him, and many of us have debated his guilt or innocence for several years since he may or may not have gotten away with murder back in the nineties. He had gone from being the poster boy for blacks being able to cross the racial divides to a poster boy for the power of the color green when accused of a crime. One would have thought that getting away with murder would have been enough to satisfy anyone’s penchant for crime. I mean come on, what’s left after that? I know! Petty theft! Let me gather a bunch of my boys and try and rob a hotel room! OJ Simpson step right up and get your “I really want to go to jail and I won’t stop until you put me in there” Award. Since you were unable to steal your, err... property... back and get your other awards we hope our trophy makes you feel special...

The third and final award was a hard one to decide on. In fact, it’s a three-way tie that you all will have to decide on. There were so many deserving people. People like Puffy who told us that he won’t stop and damned if he wasn’t telling the truth. That brotha couldn’t stop showing his behind if you paid him. Between the baby mama drama and the You Tube hype craziness he deserves an award this year. But alas, he got an award last year and we should spread the wealth around shouldn’t we. And then there are folks like Michael Vick… people who make you want to channel Dave Chappell channeling Rick James and scream, “Shoulda neva gave y’all negros money!” He deserves to win a brotha please award for sure, don’t you agree? And then there is the third candidate in the tie... I’m giving him a pass because he recently lost his mother and because he did what I wanted him to do and beat one of last year’s recipients in a battle for record sales. But if anyone deserves a Brotha Please award this year for bad behavior it would have to be Kanye West for his meltdown back stage at the MTV video awards show.



I mean come on… if he were a two year old he would have warranted a spanking for that crap. But since there is a three-way tie for third place and he just lost his mother, I’m going to let this slide. But if he pulls this crap at the Grammy’s this coming year, then he will be number one next year no matter what.

As usual we here at Gwyneth’s Blog realize that you might take issue with our decisions for awardees. You might think we are being too harsh or not harsh enough. Or maybe you have your own award nominees. Feel free to drop a comment and let us know what you think. Until next time…

Much love and peace,

Gwyneth

Da Brat... make that the Dumb Ass

Will someone please tell these femcees to stop doing dumb ish to go to jail and boost their careers? I mean seriously, Da Brat has taken desperation to a whole 'nother level with this ish. And I'm pissed that I have to take a moment from my writing cave to give my fifty 'leven cents on it. But this trend is just too ridiculous not to comment on. First Lil' Kim went to jail. Then Foxy started losing her mind slapping folks and throwing cell phones trying to get into enough trouble to best Lil' Kim and then Remy decides to shoot someone. And now Da Brat decides she wants to hit a young woman in the face with a bottle of rum. Dumb ass. I'm not even gonna front, next to Remy, Da Brat could probably handle herself in the big house with Big Wilma... But I'm just saying... Why go through all that. You were doing fine trying to bring attention to yourself by being on all those wack reality shows. I loved you on Celebrity Fit Club! And your performance on The Surreal Life? Superb. And I'm not even gonna touch your stellar judging on Celebrity Rap Stars... amazing! (Okay, y'all know I'm lying. I didn't watch Celebrity Fit Club or The Surreal Life... and I'm going no comment on Celebrity Rap Stars...) But that's not the point. The point is that the way to rescue your career from obscurity is not to go around hitting folks with bottles, dumb ass. And if one more female MC does something stupid just to get a rep, I am going to scream. Now I have writing to do...

much love and peace,

Gwyneth

Cool Interview with Actress Tasha Smith in that Magazine

Finally, something worth reading from the former bastion of profession black womanhood that was Essence ! I just found this wonderful interview with actress Tasha Smith. I adored her in Tyler Perry’s Daddy’s Little Girls and she is one of the main reasons--besides all those yummy fine brothers in the movie--that I will be in the theater as soon as I can to see Why Did I Get Married? I liked her as an actress and now that I’ve found out more about her, I just love her! This interview should have been in the print magazine, not just on-line. I bet they’ll run an interview with Kim Porter and why she finally left Diddy--if they haven’t already--right in the magazine and not on-line. Oh well…

Here’s some of the interview:

Tasha Smith: Survival of the Fittest
Actress/activist and motivational speaker Tasha Smith talks about her latest film role and her real-life drama

By Kenya N. Byrd

Hollywood can be a fickle town when it comes to making or breaking talent, but some actors withstand the shuffle and show promise of longevity. Tasha Smith is that chick. Some might recall that the statuesque beauty once busted guts on the comedy strip in Los Angeles. Most will remember Smith as Jennifer, the vindictive ex-wife, in Daddy’s Little Girls or from her days as a crack addict on HBO’s Emmy Award-winning gritty street drama, The Corner ,. No matter where the Camden, New Jersey-born actress banks screen time, she is a bonafide scene-stealer. This month, Smith co-stars in Tyler Perry’s latest film Why Did I Get Married? as Angela, a feisty entrepreneur who is trying to mend her marriage during a weekend getaway with three other couples. Essence.com caught up with the fire starter to talk about the power of “ghetto” women, her past drug abuse and paying it forward.

Essence.com: In the film, your character Angela handles her business and husband. Her mama-don’t-take-no-mess attitude could be perceived as “ghetto.” Do you think real women who express themselves unapologetically are wrongfully deemed uneducated?

Tasha Smith: I don’t think it’s a lack of intelligence, but a lack of truth. People are so used to not being transparent with their feelings. Angela is smart, fearless and keeps it real because she’s not pretentious. It’s a shame that some people might identify that transparency as “urban” or “ghetto” because there are a lot of wonderful businesswomen who are truthful, transparent and confrontational. And I don’t mean “confrontational” in a negative way, but more like, ‘This is what this is, let’s deal with it.' Angela is our mother, our auntie, our neighbor and our mail lady. Trust me, there will be more women who identify with Angela than not.

Essence.com: So, would you recommend this film to women whose marriages are in crisis?

T.S.: A woman told me, ‘A group of my friends are going through some marital problems and we are going to see the film together.’ And I said, ‘No you need to go with your husbands to see the film. Don’t go with a bunch of chicks thinking that you’re going to get validated by your girls to give up on your marriage. Instead, go with your husbands and hope that something is going to be spoken that will make you guys say, `Hey baby, why did we get married? Let’s talk about that and the good things we have and how much we love each other so we can stop harping on everything that made us angry and unforgiving.’

Read the rest of the wonderful interview here:

Tasha Smith: Survival of the Fittest

Foxy Brown is going to jail... (Inga, Inga, Inga....)

Foxy Brown is going to jail for a year. How many ways can I tell these rap chicks that jail is not cute? And Foxy is going to jail behind some dumb stuff. Hitting someone with a cell phone? Just because Naomi Campbell got off with community service for doing that does not mean you can get away with it. I mean really do we have to talk to you like you’re a two year old, Foxy? Okay, here goes… “Foxy, no, no, no. Use your words, sweetie. No hitting.” And trust me you don’t want to be the chick in jail for hitting someone with a cell phone. I mean really, try looking tough in front of Big Wilma talking about, “Yeah, so then I threw my cellie at the chick and told her she must not know ‘bout me. I’m Foxy Brown, B!@#*!” Unh unh. Nope. Not gonna work. Oh well, may be you’ll be able to share a cell with Remy Ma… For now, I’ll just watch this old remix of Total's “No One Else” featuring Foxy Brown, Lil' Kim and Da Brat and remember the days before female rappers thought it was all the rage to go to jail. Who knew orange jail jumpsuits would become so chic…



much love and peace,

Gwyneth

Is it just me....

Or did Amy Winehouse pull a swagger-jacking...



On Macy Gray?



When I first heard Amy Winehouse's hit song "Rehab," I thought "hey she's biting Macy Gray's entire style, the voice, everything." I mean Amy even stopped combing her hair. ;-) And they both have that "I'm so high right now" look. (Well, they might actually be kinda high...) But I wrote her off as a "beat biter, dope-style taker" to quote femcee MC Lyte. I pretty much dismissed Amy Winehouse and that annoying song "Rehab." I refused to like her because she wasn't original. Just a Vanilla Iced Macy Gray, in my opinion. And then I heard this song...



And, I'm a sucker for old Motown, especially anything that calls to mind Marvin and Tammi in their heyday. So shoot me, I like the song. And I would be cool with that, if the swagger-jacking wasn't so blantant and glaring. Check out Macy's first video...



And you can see why I'm torn... So I thought I'd bring it to you all. Is it just me or is Amy Winehouse a swagger-jacker? And I'm not even going to get into the wholesale ripe-off of R&B... Just the theft of Macy's swagger and style... For now, I think I'll just stick with the original... Sing... "Shoo Be Doo," Macy.... Sing...



Much love and peace,

Gwyneth

Talk about incentive...

... to buy a Kanye West CD

50 Cent said he would stop making solo albums if Kanye West out-sells him when they both release on September 11th.


"Let's raise the stakes," the 31-year-old rapper told hip-hop Web site SOHH.com in an interview posted Friday. "If Kanye West sells more records than 50 Cent on September 11, I'll no longer write music. I'll write music and work with my other artists, but I won't put out anymore solo albums."

Promises... Promises... I don't know about y'all. But I'm buying as many Kanye West CDs as my budget can handle. I'm talking about, family and loved ones might be getting them for birthday gifts and Christmas. Both 50 and Kanye are pretty annoying in an man-child kind of way... I mean instead of having a contest for who can sell the most CDs, they could have a contest for who can through the biggest tantrum. I wouldn't even know who to put my money on for that one... But I actually like Kanye's music. And if there is a chance he can help get rid of 50, hey... why not? If only 50 said he would shut up and disappear forever if Kanye outsold him. Boy, I'd really buy a lot of those Kanye West CDs then...

Buy Kanye West's CD and let's see if 50 disappears... LOL.

My Fifty ‘Leven Cents on Remy Ma

Well, there's something about Remy all right. And apparently it isn't all about the rhyme. Female rapper Remy Ma has gone and gotten herself arrested for a shooting. When will they learn...

First of all, girlfriend, femcees going to jail is so-oo two years ago. Lil' Kim has been there and done that even down to the shooting. Second of all, anyone walking around with a two-toned hairstyle a la Josie and the Pussy Cats is not really hard. (How can we take you seriously as a threat with that hair?) You getting arrested is not going to up your street cred in that regard. Third of all, I really hope that you weren't stupid enough to have actually pulled the trigger. And if you didn't I hope you're not on some silly "I won't snitch" tip like Lil' Kim was. Because you will not have access to hair dye in prison and how will you get that little front section of your hair the proper shade of auburn? A girl has to consider these things before she goes out and commits a crime. Now, I really hope that you didn't have anything to do with it. But if you did just know you will more than likely go to jail. If they sent Martha Stewart and Lil' Kim to jail for lying, you know they will get you... And don't expect the same media hype that these other women got when they went to jail. I told you, it's so-oo two years ago... All folks will have for you is "whatever..."

My Fifty ‘Leven Cents on Puffy and Kim's Spilt...

I know I shouldn't be happy that Kim and Puffy (And I know he's Diddy now. But I don't care. He'll always be Puffy to me) broke up. I know that I'm a romance writer and I'm supposed to be all about the love. But if you've read my blog before, you know how I feel about Puffy and Kim. All I can say now is I hope the sista has finally seen the light and leaves his ass for good. I knew when I saw recent gossip that he was running around with some other chick and his twins are barely seven months old, that Kim was in for heartache the likes of J-Lo all over again. But it looks like Miss. Kim ain't having it. Time will only tell... Take my advice girlfriend, run as fast as you can. (But don't forget your child support!) And for the record, I think her silly behind will take him back yet again after the sting of his latest affair wears off. And he still won't marry her... What do you all think? I'm sure you all saw it coming...

much love and peace,

Gwyneth

My Fifty ‘Leven Cents on The View

The show wasn’t really all that great until Rosie came. Even when they had Star on there, I hardly ever watched. (For some reason, I never really liked Star all that much… Oh well, that’s another post…) The View seemed to be made up of fake chicks, except for maybe Meredith. She seemed real. But she wasn’t really interesting. So I didn’t watch it much. And then Rosie came on and it was suddenly interesting. I found my self tuning in for the hot topics and not even watching the guests they had on. I just wanted to see what Rosie was going to say next. And Rosie’s presence even gave Joy a voice and she became a little interesting too. Who knew? And finally people started checking that annoying Elisabeth! Sheesh. Talk about people who make me wanna holla and throw up both my hands! Elisabeth is the kind of person I try to avoid. And that’s why I knew even last year when Rosie made her first appearance on The View that it wasn’t going to last. It was doomed to fail. I’m surprised it lasted as long as it did. Rosie may be crazy, loud and opinionated, but she was also real. Real folk can’t last long with fake folk all around them. Soon they will have to cuss the fake chick out and there goes the neighborhood. I’m pretty sure Rosie realized that fake chicks were all around her when Barbara played her out in that whole Rosie versus The Donald debacle. The big blow up with Elisabeth was probably just the last straw. And the argument was so silly, really. Rosie didn’t call the troops terrorists… Now… she did sort of imply that the United States government was a terrorist… But that too is another post…

At the end of the day, I blame Rosie for this. That’s what she gets for surrounding herself with fake chicks. And that’s what she gets for trying to have a rational discussion about war and politics with an idiot. That’s why I stay away from fake chicks and idiots. I hope Rosie learns from this. Now what will I do at 11:00 in the morning. I guess I’ll have to write… Oh well… Bye, Rosie. If you get your own show again, I’d watch…

Much love and peace,

Gwyneth